My approach to working with couples, whether straight, gay, or lesbian, is a synthesis of several approaches that I have been exposed to over the years (psychodynamic, emotion-focused, family systems, Gottman). I believe it is important for me to establish an impartiality as the therapist and to demonstrate an understanding and appreciation for the experience of both parties. Some fear that through couples therapy they will be found “at fault” in their marriage or relationship. I tend to see strengths and problems in the relationship as the result of a dynamic, which is usually amenable to change. Sometimes it is very helpful to understand each parties contribution to the relationship in the context of their individual psychologies, especially as those psychologies were shaped in the family of origin. It can also be helpful to discern the conscious and unconscious roots of the original attraction and love. It makes me happy to help couples find degrees of harmony and passion that they may not have¬†enjoyed for some significant period of time. Generally speaking, life is difficult, and can be much better when shared with a companion.